HOW MY SORDID PAST COULD MAKE YOUR SPECIAL DAY
On Saturday, I had the honour of marrying two of my dear friends - Sarah and Jake.
(I led the ceremony – I’m not in a polygamous marriage you understand!)
It was honestly one of the most moving experiences of my entire life.
In fact, I had to try very, very hard to suppress the wobbly voice and tears that kept threatening to erupt out of my eyeballs throughout the ceremony (I was only partially successful…)
I’ve always been an emotional wreck at weddings.
Perhaps it was my former terror at the prospect of standing up in front of all my nearest and dearest to declare my commitment to another FOREVER that overwhelmed me.
Or, perhaps it’s because deep down I always knew that I’d somehow find a way to transcend that fear in order to experience lasting love, however grueling the process may be.
Because marriage, it turns out, is worth wrestling your love demons for.
(Even if those gnarly little fuckers try their damndest to convince you otherwise).
This fully hit me as I read out one of the most poignant parts of the ceremony on Saturday:
“Marriage is a commitment; it’s a commitment to love and patience. It’s a commitment to the best that two people can bring out in each other. It is a spiritual and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime. A marriage binds two people in a union that includes all the most fulfilling relationships that humankind knows. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and counselor. Your marriage will deepen and enrich every facet of your lives.”
Growing up, I think I’d always seen marriage as a bit of a prison: a lifetime sentence of boredom, monotony and crap sex.
I hadn’t banked on it being the biggest, bravest adventure two people could embark upon.
In the few months I’d been preparing for Sarah and Jake’s wedding, I’d started to feel an internal nudge towards making this part of my work in a more formal capacity.
For a brief moment, though, I worried that my tenuous relationship with romantic commitment in the past might make me an unsuitable candidate for the wedding industry.
But it quickly dawned on me that perhaps this is what makes me the ideal one.
Because I know in my bones the courage required in the journey to that altar.
I know what a sacrifice and a privilege it is to bind your life to another’s, even when doing so scares the living shit out of you.
And I know for certain that all the dots of my working life – my English Literature degree, my acting training and career, my book about relationships, my love-coaching programs and most importantly, my own love story – have serendipitously connected in order to prepare me for my next vocational endeavour…
So, it’s with great delight I can reveal that I’m about to start training to become an official wedding celebrant!
(After all, who better to be one than a love coach?!)
In the age of social media where weddings have - in many cases - become predominantly associated with capturing the perfect visual, I feel excited to use my experience working as a love coach to guide and support couples in approaching their wedding ceremony as a launch pad to creating a perfectly imperfect marriage that has the absolute best chance of sustaining and thriving in this bonkers world we’re living in.
I’ll be able to officiate within a few months, so if you know anyone getting hitched soon and looking for someone to help them create a sacred, soulful and bespoke ceremony with a difference, I’d be over the moon if you’d consider pointing them in my direction.
(And if that happens to be YOU, then I cannot wait to see you at the altar!)
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:
What’s the most memorable wedding ceremony you’ve ever attended?
What made it so special, and how did it influence your perspective on marriage?
All my love,