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“Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away.” – Louis de Bernières via @Persia_Lawson
 

Last Thursday, I went to the wedding of one of my dear school friends, Claire, and her (now) husband, Syd – who I’ve also known since I was 14.

I have to say, it was one of the most stunning weddings I’ve ever been to (helped by the fact that the setting was Ibiza!)

What was most magical, though, was seeing just how much Claire and Syd adore each other.

Not just as lovers or life partners, but as true friends.

Because theirs was my second wedding in this month alone, inevitably, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about marriage over the last few days…

… Mainly, about whether or not I’m ready to take that next big step in my own relationship.

Being a commitment-phobe for most of my life, this is a big old question for me.

And one of the ways I work out where I stand on colossal questions such as this is simply to write about it, and see what comes out.

Sometimes I write in my journal, sometimes in a blog post – and sometimes even a short social media post does the trick.

Because to me, the process of writing – no matter what the format - is a process of self-discovery.

It helps my mind uncover the core truths that my soul’s already known for ages (sometimes, even years).

Often when I’m writing, I get an impulse to search Google for a quote from a book, play, film or poem that links to whatever topic I’m exploring.

(That’ll be the literary/ thespy wanker in me).

And pretty much every time I do this, I’m drawn to one particular quote that resonates on such a profound level that I know for sure I’ve got my answer.

Below is the quote I was guided to today while writing this blog post.

It’s from the novel ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’ by Louis de Bernières, and it’s probably one of the most beautiful, helpful quotes about romantic love I’ve ever come across:

 

  

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No...don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"

  

 

The moment I read this passage, I knew for sure that I’ve reached ‘that’ place in my relationship with Joe.

Beyond the honeymoon phase, and in to real, genuine, ‘rooted’ love.

The only question that remains now is whether or not Joe is in that place yet, too.

Guess we’ll have to watch this space and see ;)


 

I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Does the commitment of marriage scare you? What, exactly, are you afraid of?

And, if you’re already married - how did you know you were ready to take that next step?

Can’t wait to hear you answers below <3

All my love,

Persia xxx

 

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