THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS ONCE THE BAIN OF YOURS
My beloved fiancé isn’t everyone’s cup of chai.
He’s brazen, he’s audacious, he’s messy and without filter.
He smokes more than he should, eats carbs on top of carbs and could talk an eskimo in to buying ice, he’s that convincing.
He parades around every festival we attend like he owns it, and makes a point of boycotting any pub that dares to sell Strongbow.
He’s impulsive as they come, and has a temper on him that has the potential to erupt at any moment as if from nowhere - like an unwelcome case of chicken pox.
(Thankfully it doesn’t very often; when it does, nine times out of ten it’s directed at something immobile and legitimately infuriating such as sat navs, parking fines and automated customer service calls that don’t offer you the option you need or keep you ‘queuing’ for what feels like a fucking eternity).
His ruthless and unwavering determination to find a suitable pair of trees to secure his hammock to when we travel is both tedious and endearing in equal measures.
He could happily warble on about generators and cables all day long (he’s a location manager in the film industry – and won’t let you forget it), and he has no patience for people who spend more time taking selfies in front of sunsets than savouring them.
In short, a wallflower he most certainly ain’t.
It’s not hard to imagine what a terror he must have been to date for some of his Ex-girlfriends.
(Then again, isn’t that the case for us all?)
And I’d be lying if I said there hasn’t been times where I’ve wanted to throttle him, too (the feeling’s very much mutual, FYI.)
He’s Joey Wilderness:
The kindest, funnest, most generous specimen of a human I’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering.
When I’m down or going through a shit storm, he’s the first one to comfort me and cheer me up.
The first person to buy a round of drinks in the pub.
The first to offer a bed and home-cooked meal to any friends or family going through a rough patch.
He somehow manages to be both spontaneous and predictable to the hilt all at the same time:
Silly and serious, an adventurous, risk-taking sailor and a trustworthy, reliable farmer.
He’ll always put everyone else’s needs first, and is incapable of travelling anywhere without having made at least five new friends (this usually includes the man selling coconuts – a vocation Joe would happily pursue to the end of his days, had he not picked me as a life partner).
While he may trigger and exasperate some, to those that love and get him he’s a legend:
A raw, rambunctious, wood-dwelling, fairy-lit stick-wielding, green-eyed delight of a man, who’s taught me more about what it means to be a spiritual, loving person than all of the self-help books I’ve read put together.
He may not have the self-discipline of Buddha, but he has a heart for underdogs not dissimilar to the Lord Christ himself, and his steadfast love and loyalty has healed me to a greater depth than a thousand therapy sessions ever could.
I can’t believe I get to share the rest of my life with him.
The thing is, sweet reader, there really is no such thing as ‘good or bad’, ‘right or wrong’ when it comes to our romantic relationships.
We attract the person who provides the maximum opportunity for healing and growth at any given time.
Sometimes these people are brought to us for a reason, sometimes a season, and sometimes a life time.
But, nothing is ever wasted.
However much your heart may have temporarily broken after a love affair collapsed, you always have the choice as to whether or not you want to learn the lesson it was there to teach you, so that you can go on to become the person you need to be for your future lifetime partner and relationship.
Every apparent fuck up, mistake and bad choice in my romantic life eventually led me to be standing in the middle of a rave in a valley at a festival, right in front of the man that is now my fiancé.
Neither of us was ready for our worlds to collide one single moment before they did.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing in all the love stories that came before ours, because we may never have met otherwise.
And I wouldn’t change a thing about my messy man, because I wouldn’t be who or where I am today, either.
Trust the timing, trust the mystery, and trust that it’s all going exactly to plan, even if it looks and feels the opposite right now.
It’s all good, baby ;)
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Can you see how your previous relationships may have been there for a reason, a season or a life time?
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from a relationship that ‘failed’?
I’d love to hear in the comments below :)
All my love,