THE SECRET TO KEEPING LOVE
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This Easter weekend, I realised the main reason my relationship keeps getting better, year after year.
My parents were away, my siblings were spending time with their own partners, and my boyfriend Joe had decided to go to Cornwall with a few of his guy friends.
Meaning that I’d be spending most of the weekend alone.
There was a time when that would have been hell for me.
There was a time when I’d try to suffocate my loneliness by spending every waking moment partying with people who didn’t really know, like or care about me.
This weekend, however, I decided to see my involuntary isolation as an opportunity, rather than a chore.
I spent my mornings reveling in extended meditation and yoga sessions in my bedroom.
I spent my afternoons reviewing how the first quarter of 2018 was for me - before setting goals and intentions for the second quarter.
I made a concerted effort to enjoy the process of cooking for me – and me alone.
I commandeered the sofa for a full hour with a Nespresso and the latest copy of Grazia – and allowed myself to indulge in these little luxuries, guilt-free.
I slept in.
All this to say – that I took the time to invest in my relationship with me.
One of my favourite poets Kahil Gibran once wrote of marriage:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
In other words, enjoy the life you share together – but don’t let this be a substitute for enjoying your lives as individuals, too.
I look forward to Joe returning from Cornwall, but I’m not wishing my time away until he does.
I’m savouring it.
Because, I finally get that a relationship between two people is just a heightened reflection of the relationship each partner already has with themselves.
So, whether you’re single, dating or married, please take this as an opportunity to re-commit to your relationship with you.
After all, whatever may happen in your love life, you’re gonna be with you until the end.
What a privilege.
Don’t squander it, darling.
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU
How do you relish your time on your own? What could you do to
savour it even more?
Let me know in the comments below <3