37 THINGS YOU’LL LOSE BY TRAVELLING WITH YOUR LOVER
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If you’re reading this, it means the plane I’m writing it from landed at Heathrow on time -
Despite the gnarly BEAST FROM THE EAST blizzard everyone’s been warning us about over the last few days - praise be!
A bit o’ context:
As you may know, I’ve been travelling the world for 5 months with my beloved boyfriend Joe.
Although our transfer at Kuala Lumpur airport just now was an absolute shit show from start to finish, this has been one of the most epic experiences of my life so far (and there’s some pretty stiff competition ;)
Which is why I have no doubt that I’ll be writing about all the life + love lessons I learned during our adventure for quite some time.
I’ve absolutely loved receiving your messages about the many things you gained from your own travelling escapades.
I’m sure I’ll share something similar in the near future too, but today I actually feel called to tell you more about what I lost over the past 5 months.
I hope it inspires you to start planning your own/ next travel adventure (whether that’s solo or as part of a duo).
So, here goes:
37 THINGS I LOST WHILE TRAVELLING THE WORLD WITH MY BOYFRIEND:
- My trekking virginity (walked from Phaplu > Namche > Lukla in Nepal).
- Several arguments with Joe, my friends + fam (you know who you are).
- The better part of a week, which was spent on a toilet (beware of dodgy ice cubes.)
- My fear of flying (thanks to 24 flights in 5 months – one of them out of the world’s most dangerous airport).
- My belief that everything in Australia is out to bite, eat or kill me.
- My mind each of the 4 times we were at Kuala Lumpur airport (this place did not agree with us).
- My fear of motorbikes.
- The desire to bother putting on make-up at least 50% of the time.
- My embarrassment/ fear of being seen naked (+ touched!) by a stranger, thanks to a superlatively intimate ‘chakra cleansing’ session with a male Balinese healer in his 50s (more on this soon - it warrants an entire post, trust me).
- My fear of needles (as a result of getting a few cheeky tats – sorry mum).
- The desire to ever touch a wild monkey again - however cute - after seeing one viciously bite a man near the monkey forest in Ubud (please be warned, those little buggers can turn on you in an instant!)
- 94% of the fucks I used to give about what people think of me + my choices (always still room for improvement on that one).
- My fear of bartering (always start with one third of their initial price + NEVER agree to more than two thirds of it, according to my dear old dadda).
- My arrogant assumption that I could be more useful in the east than I am in the west (I was helped over the last 5 months a whole lot more than I helped).
- My belief that this world is a big place – we randomly bumped in to old friends from home in the most unexpected of circumstances.
- The willingness to let anyone else dictate my schedules or priorities - if it’s in conflict with what feels good to me.
- The majority of my resentments from the last 8 years.
- My terror at the idea of doing yoga (esp. Ashtanga style) in the same class as people 10x better than me.
- The need for chairs, a table or cutlery to host a dinner party; the floor, cushions + a banana leaf will sufficiently suffice (plus, less washing up).
- My fear that I’d fall apart/ go back to my old ways without my regular therapy sessions/ 12 step meetings (travel was my therapy – as Joe often reminded me).
- The naïve hope that everyone will like/ love/ get me or my work.
- 4 of my biggest phobias in one fell swoop: confined spaces, breathing under water, the open sea + great white sharks (I will never stop harping on about this one).
- The desire to ever take a contraceptive pill again (my body made it abundantly clear that it’s well + truly done with being pumped full of fake hormones; NO judgement on how any woman chooses to approach contraception - Lord knows we’ve earned the right to listen to our own bodies when it comes to this, I just know it no longer works for me.)
- The low level anxiety that I used to wake up with every single day in London (will do absolutely everything in my power to try + keep it this way for as long as humanly possible).
- The desire to visit Vietnam during the monsoon season ever again.
- The underlying belief that I’ll get bored in/ never be able to make a long-term relationship last. Travelling with your partner for an extended period of time is a great indicator of your compatibility; we’ve come away from this trip more in love than ever – and this is largely because of how we handled + overcame several big arguments + challenges. Healthy, enduring love is not about being perfect, it’s about owning your part in any given conflict and forgiving the other person for theirs. Ultimately, if it’s not meant to be, your intuition will make it indisputably clear to you; trust yourself + the timing of your life).
- The expectation that I’d ever be as productive while travelling as I can be back home (did a lot of work, but not nearly as much as I hoped – the good times I had were more than worth it, though).
- My irritation at people who complain of nausea, the longness of travelling in exotic places, or the fact their ears don’t pop for days after a flight (the worst).
- My fear of saying ‘no, thank you’ to offers of opportunities that just don’t sit right with me.
- My fear of doing a headstand completely unsupported.
- The need to be perfectly prepared/ polished before I get on stage to sing or perform.
- FOMO on stuff at home; it’s better than missing out on stuff where you are because you’re not present (I’m sad that way too much of my travels were spent looking at what everyone else was doing back in the U.K. via my phone. Reeeeeeeeally need to look at this properly when I’m back).
- The belief that busyness + productivity are more important than rest + play. Nah mate; life’s way too short, fun + spontaneous to spend every waking second of it fretting about how successful you are/n’t.
- On that note, the belief that you’ve only ‘made it’ if you own a house, a car, have a ‘stable’ 9-5 etc; success looks + feels different for all of us.
- The need to always be right (it’s actually so much less effort to admit you might not be).
- My fear of travelling in a 3rd world country on my own (was one of the best bits – despite my bank card getting hacked, constantly being hassled by the taxi mafia when walking alone + having to carry mine + Joe’s extremely heavy bags up + down flights of stairs all by myself, over + over again gaaaaaaah).
- The hope that I’ll ever get a Christmas dinner overseas that’s anywhere near as good as in Blighty’ (though I’m happy to be proved wrong on this one…)
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:
What have you LOST from travelling in the past?
How did it affect your relationship with yourself, your partner + other humans?
Can’t wait to read your answers below <3