The Painful Truth About Relationships

8 Comments

The Painful Truth About Relationships

Most mornings start the same in my home.

My boyfriend, who chooses to arise precisely two minutes before he has to be out the door for work, zooms through the flat like a tornado.

As soon as he’s satisfied that testicles, spectacles, wallet & watch are all aboard, he rushes over to the confused little mole that is me and plants three pecks on my unwashed mouth....

8 Comments

5 Ways To Know If You're Really In Love

Comment

5 Ways To Know If You're Really In Love

I’ve claimed to be in love more times than I care to remember.

For me, no other high can top the feeling of falling in love - it’s completely intoxicating, which is why I think our culture’s so obsessed with new relationships.....

Comment

How To Know If You're A Sex + Love Addict

Comment

How To Know If You're A Sex + Love Addict

In ‘The Inner Fix’ -  the book I wrote with my friend Joey, I rather brazenly shared how I’ve done some pretty unsavoury things in the relationships department over the years.

I cheated on every boyfriend I ever had, I had multiple one night stands, and I hooked up with (and ended up dating) men who were already in relationships, to name but a few.

Comment

How Not To Make A Baby

3 Comments

How Not To Make A Baby

There’s no pleasant way of saying this (Lord knows I’ve tried to find one…)

The other night, I accidentally pulled out my Mirena coil, thinking it was a tampon.

> Insert green vomiting-face emoji here <

*There’s an important reason I’m sharing this ghastly tale with you, though, so I hope you’ll stick around and hear me out....

3 Comments

How To Know Who Your Real Friends Are

3 Comments

How To Know Who Your Real Friends Are

My closest group of girlfriends are a bunch of fashion-conscious, prosecco-swilling strumpets.

They’re not actual strumpets/ streetwalkers (obviously), but for the last decade or so, I’ve lovingly referred to this group as ‘The Sloos’ – a bastardisation of ‘The Sluts’.

Not one of us has the faintest idea how or why this label came about and stuck...

3 Comments

The Key To Your Trust Issues

Comment

The Key To Your Trust Issues

In October of last year, I restarted therapy.

Although most of the last five years had been dedicated to learning to love and understand myself (and others), I knew there were deeper realms within that had yet to be healed.

An oversharer by nature, I hadn’t anticipated this process being too challenging...

Comment

5 Ways To Get A Boyfriend

Comment

5 Ways To Get A Boyfriend

If you want to get a boyfriend, you have to follow your dinosaurs.

Let me explain.

I was at a festival called ‘Wilderness’ in Oxfordshire back in 2015 when I met the love of my life.

Our eyes locked in a secret rave in a wooded valley, as bejewelled acrobatic mermaids did somersaults above our heads and glitter-speckled revellers shimmied and swayed beside us....

Comment

What 2017 Has In Store For You

2 Comments

What 2017 Has In Store For You

Last week, I had my first ever astrology reading with a lovely lady called Lee Lam.

Whilst I never fail to read my horoscope in the Evening Standard when I’m in town, my knowledge and understanding of the zodiac is very amateur, so I was curious to learn more.... 

 

2 Comments

The Spiritual Secret To Success

2 Comments

The Spiritual Secret To Success

Like most of us today, I’m a total Netflix fiend.

I watch shows in the bath, while eating breakfast – sometimes on the toilet, too (sorry for that visual…)

But the term ‘Netflix + chill’ has taken on a whole new meaning for me recently.

Right now, I’m obsessed with Mad Men.

I tried it years ago, but found it too slow; today, it’s the slowness of it that I relish the most.

In an episode I watched yesterday, the philandering sex-pot that is Donald Draper said something that really struck me...

2 Comments

Don't Let **These** Bastards Grind You Down

Comment

Don't Let **These** Bastards Grind You Down

It’s 7.30am on a Saturday morning.

The grey drizzle of London seeps in through the blinds, as if to confirm this strange sense of foreboding that’s been washing through my consciousness for the last few hours, refusing to let me fall back to sleep.

I’m alone in bed – my fella’s away for work and right now, I really feel his absence.

Instinctively, I know that all is not well....

Comment

Are You As Superficial As I Am?

2 Comments

Are You As Superficial As I Am?

I’ve got to confess something to you.

I very nearly didn’t share this ‘thing’, because it’s up there with one of my worst character flaws.

But, then I remembered that if I’m STILL doing this thing (despite working so hard not to), it’s highly likely you are, too – at least, to some degree....

2 Comments

Pleasure Yourself To Success

2 Comments

Pleasure Yourself To Success

I’ve just returned from an exceptionally indulgent 8 days in Italy.

 

If you’ve ever been to the home of All-The-Carbs-You-Could-Ever-Dream-Of-And-More you’ll know how much the Italians pride themselves on the top-notch quality of their grub.

 

Being emotional extroverts with a very high pleasure threshold, my boyfriend and I threw ourselves into the experience with little care for body-related consequences...

2 Comments

It Can All Change In An Instant

Comment

It Can All Change In An Instant

It can all change in an instant,

Your life.

We’re led to believe that

Transformation,

Progress,

Victory,

Take years of graft

-       And they do

(“She’s an overnight success a decade in the making…)

Comment

Follow The Dinosaurs To Find True Love

4 Comments

Follow The Dinosaurs To Find True Love

Last weekend, my boyfriend and I went to a dinosaur theme park.

It was incredible – there were tons of life-size electronically animated dinos dotted around Osterley Park in south-west London - Tyrannosaurus Rex, Triceratops, Velociraptors – you name it.

Ever since I was little, I’ve been completely mesmerized by these creatures....

4 Comments

How David Bowie Helped Me Give Up Shame

Comment

How David Bowie Helped Me Give Up Shame

Once again, I find myself sat at my computer, poised to write something from my heart to yours.

And what comes out is not so much a newsletter, but yet another bloody POEM.

(My muse, it seems, has grown rather fond of the lyrical medium of late – maybe it’s all the daffodils wafting about on manicured lawns and in £1 bunches in my local Tesco Express).....

Comment