WHY BEING (UNHAPPILY) SINGLE IS A FIRST WORLD PROBLEM

I used to waste countless hours ruminating over why love continued to evade me.

Most of my time was spent scouring bars, looking for a man that might temporarily fill the gaping void I felt inside.

Like a dog with a bone, I refused to drop the misguided notion that the acquiring of a romantic relationship would somehow fix my life.

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WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

When I was single and everyone around me seemed not to be, it was almost impossible to imagine myself ever wanting to walk (correction: RUN) away from a happy, stable relationship.

Yet, that’s how I’ve sometimes felt over the last three months since I got engaged to my beloved Joey Wilderness.

(Not a common admission from a bride to be, I know).

The truth is that there are moments I’m overcome with gratitude, excitement and even a sense of relief that my future is officially hitched to my forever person’s.

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FEELING LEFT BEHIND IN LOVE? READ THIS.

For every woman you covet for her happily ever after,

There’s five who’d (nearly) kill for your latest career achievement.

For every time you bemoan your lack of a plus one,

There are many more moments when your solitude is your most treasured luxury.

For every stomach-churningly hideous first date,

There’s a third so electric your married friend would sell her firstborn to switch places for the night.

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A SURPRISING WAY TO KNOW IF HE’S ‘THE ONE’

A month or so after meeting Joe at Wilderness festival I found myself sitting on a plane to Morocco next to my friend Jess, reading out a list of all the reasons I should be with Joe - and all the reasons I shouldn’t.

I can still pin-point the exact moment our love story came dangerously close to falling off the cliff of our blossoming romance for me.

(Unfortunately, it turns out that it was the same moment to clinch the deal for him).

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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS ONCE THE BAIN OF YOURS

My beloved fiancé isn’t everyone’s cup of chai.

He’s brazen, he’s audacious, he’s messy and without filter.

He smokes more than he should, eats carbs on top of carbs and could talk an eskimo in to buying ice, he’s that convincing.

He parades around every festival we attend like he owns it, and makes a point of boycotting any pub that dares to sell Strongbow.

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*THIS* QUESTION WILL MAKE YOU ADORE BEING SINGLE

You don’t need me to tell you that the human race is in a dangerously vulnerable place right now.

It’s my belief that we’re mainly here due to the global fetishization of what I call a ‘McDonald’s culture’: we’ve become so accustomed to getting our desires and whims met instantly (hello junk food, online shopping and digital porn on command) that we’ve forgotten that in most cases good things take time.

Nowhere does this seem to be more overlooked than when it comes to our love lives.

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THE REAL REASON I BECAME A LOVE COACH

As the Johnny Cash song goes, love is a burning thing.

(And i’s been known to make a fiery ring on more than one occasion… GAAAAAH I’m so sorry, couldn’t resist. FILTH.)

Love, in the romantic sense, has always been my northern star:

My obsession,

My drug,

My medicine in equal measures.

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THE COSTA RICAN CODE FOR A BANGING LOVE LIFE

In Costa Rica, they have an expression.

This expression itself is incorporated in to everything - from conversational greetings and farewells to every conceivable manner of branding and advertising associated with the country.

The expression is ‘Pura Vida’, which literally means ‘pure’ or ‘simple life’.

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MY #1 TIP TO MAKE HIM STAY

One of the most interesting (and random) things I’ve noticed about Costa Rica is the relationship between dogs and their owners:

They seem to have the same dynamic that us Brits have with our cats, letting them come and go from their homes as they please.

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THE BIGGEST TRIGGER FOR INSANE BEHAVIOUR IN RELATIONSHIPS

The experience of university was a pretty mixed bag for me.


Having been part of the ‘cool’ clique at school, I really struggled when I first arrived at Exeter University to discover that the lion’s share of the social power and popularity belonged to the ‘Rahs’: 

Those that had been to boarding school, lived in the home counties and had a penchant for pearls and pashminas (i.e: not me). 

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‘ME, TOO’: THE SURPRISING TRUTH ABOUT SEXUAL HEALING

When I was in my late-twenties, my friend Noo took me to see an energy healer.

We were both quite recently single and trying hard to work through all our ‘stuff’ around romantic relationships to ensure we didn’t keep fucking them up in the future, like we had up till now.

Whilst I’d done a ton of therapy and spiritual coaching by this point (which had proved highly transformative), besides my regular yoga practice, I hadn’t done all that much ‘body work’ before.

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WHY I BECAME A ‘BOYFRIEND STEALER’

Matt was the first boyfriend I ever (knowingly) stole. 

When we met during my first year of university, I’d had my own boyfriend back home in London.

However, the long distance was taking its toll, and we’d had a rough time of it as a couple after his dad had passed away after a long and torturous battle with cancer the previous summer. 

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